As I sit here and write this
article, my 99 year old Grandfather is in hospital, and this time, it doesn't
look good. "Oh, that doesn't mean that he won't rally again", the
family say to each other, "after all, he has surprised us many times
before". "No", says the hospital Physician, "this time he's
not wearing out, he's worn out".
We are now at the pointy end of
the stick. He is 99, and possibly (more than likely) won't make 100. For a lot
of us, we assume that death will be sudden. It will be a car accident, terminal
cancer, or a heart attack. We never think of actually just growing old, and our
bodies just wearing out. It is almost as though we have a built in blind spot
for our own future; we can imagine ourselves until about age 70, but then
things start to get a bit hazy. We know that we will look "old", that
we will probably even smell "old". We will have health issues, and
will worry that the kids won't visit. Above all, we know that we shouldn't have
a fall, because that will be the end of us.
Which leads me to point out that
many of our Grandparents, and Parents, are leading a life of
"non-living". We plan for so many areas of our lives, and yet when it
comes to leading a fulfilling life in our twilight years, we leave it to
chance. We rely on our family to provide much needed company and stimulation
rather than seeking it out for ourselves. Is it a lack of confidence, or is
just a lack of forethought? Or, sometimes, is it being told by our families
that we shouldn't be doing things at our age?
My Grandfather has had a good
life, but he has been lonely since my Grandmother died a few years back. On the
other hand, my ex-husband's Grandmother is still going strong in her 90s, and
when asked, she will say it was because she was widowed in her late 30s and so
most of her life is outside of the home, rather than within it. I know this is
true, because when I take my Daughter to visit I have to book in to make sure
that it doesn't clash with her social calendar.
Aged care is not just about
finding an "appropriate" facility when Mum gets too frail, and
forcing the sale of the family home. It is about helping our elders, throughout
their twilight years, to make decisions that will help them lead happy, and
fulfilling lives. We should be encouraging more independence in thought, not
just physical movement. We all have a different life expectancy. Our partners,
our friends, our loved ones, they will either outlive us, or be outlived.
Society needs to acknowledge this, and be more active in supporting each other
through this life transition.
Planning ahead will help us for
when we, ourselves, get there. Men's shed, the Red Hat Society, RSLs, all of
these things are available to us as we age, and they are so important. Join
clubs, together, or separate, maintain your interests outside of the home, and
when things start to get physically tough, ask for help so that you too can
continue to be the best (older) version of you.
Find Erin* at Achieveit
Financial Planning, or call for an appointment on 07 4638 5011.
*Authorised Representative of
Madison Financial Group Ltd ABN 36 002 459 001 AFSL 246679
This is general information only
and does not consider your personal circumstances. You should not act on any
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